Capital Punishment, Khandani Style!

We all love to celebrate Birthdays of our loved ones and wives birthdays are no exceptions since it’s that one day in the year when you actually get the opportunity to truly thank them for their unflinching love and affection to you and your family. And after the usual ritual of cake cutting, gifting etc., you want to take them out to a new restaurant in town and treat them to a nice lunch or dinner, whatever maybe the case. So here I was on my dear wife’s birthday last weekend and we decided to check out this new restaurant in town for a lazy afternoon lunch. I went there with my wife and parents and as unexpected as it was, the whole experience turned out to be a big disappointment and one of the most frustrating dining experiences of ours in a long time.

And since both my wife and I are ardent foodies, I could not help but rant and unleash my frustration on this particular restaurant’s home page on Burrp.com where it was featured in painted glory.

Here’s my review of this place, read on...

The most annoying aspect (apart from many others) of this place is the way one gets served. As you are contemplating to get a place and are in the process of settling down, and trying to get a hang of a large oval shaped steel plate with about 15 odd bowls (katoris), a bevy of khandani waiters in their garish khandani attire will attack you with khandani food, literally. About 30 odd khandani items are served in about 3 minutes flat. There is no particular order or sequence in which you get served. They throw in all the khandani items whether you like them or not. A lot of ‘shuddh’ khandani ghee is poured on all the stuff repeatedly, the khandani waiters keep attacking you constantly every second minute giving you no time whatsoever to enjoy the 10% of the khandani items that you realize are actually nice for your palate and liking. The good khandani stuff like say rotis are miniature in size with about 2 inch diameter, literally a single piece if you were to eat a normal sized roti.

They have small glasses (actually earthenware kullads if you know what I mean) to serve khandani ‘butter milk’  served in small quantities, and an even smaller glasses of khandani Jalzeera (served almost towards the end of the meal), again with less than half the quantity. The miniature malpoa was excessively deep fried reeking in oil and served with just a pinch of khandani and bland tasting rabdi. The fruit custard (wonder what is khandani about his exotic pudding) was served without any fruit and tasted weird with loads of strong essence flavour.

The place is noisy, very cramped, with rather ordinary looking cheap interiors and furniture, overly crowded with lots of hustle and bustle and with hardly any sense of genuine hospitality. It’s all part of the Khandani Parampara which they announce with such aplomb.

And finally to add insult to injury, we were billed an average of Rs.375 per thali of this Khandani hospitality and vegetarian food of 1001 items to be served and eaten in 20 odd minutes. In my honest opinion it’s a total rip off by any standards. They even went on to charge a ‘service charge’ of 7.5% (about 100 odd Rupees) to pay the attacking khandani waiters their meagre monthly wages.

I had first visited another branch of this khandani joint back in Bangalore about 4 or 5 years ago when it had opened in UB city right in the middle of a Subway and a Toscanos(A plush Italian eatery).  I thought it was a very bold move by these guys to actually open one in such a place. But when my dear Mom-In-Law insisted, we try it out, it was absolutely fabulous. For starters, the outdoor ‘cafe’ seating with wrought iron tables and chairs and the ambience of the UB city mall’s open courtyard added to the experience and the food was delicious. I think we paid about Rs.225 per plate all inclusive then and I thought it was a great deal considering the ambience, the impeccable service and the authentic taste of the food they served with a true sense of khandani hospitality.

Fast forward to 2012, I was thoroughly and sadly disappointed (and ruined my dear wife’s birthday afternoon) by every means. If you are a true foodie and really want to get pampered and eat the ‘real’ khandani / marwadi / gujarati / rajasthani vegetarian food, you should check out this very non descript obscure place in Rani Ganj, Secunderabad called Ram Vilas Bhavan. They charge you about Rs.100 or less for their Thali and literally pamper you with their authentic simple food, love, affection and their genuine hospitality. I have been going there for about 15 odd years now and nothing has changed except maybe the price which has kind of kept pace with annual inflation which is alright and acceptable.

As we left the place, I swore to my family that I will not allow any more of this Capital(‘That’s English for Rajdhani) Punishment, ever.

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